And here’s my pre last semester of college ever rant…

My first class tomorrow is a 9am math class. FML. I have 5 classes and a busy schedule. My thoughts are fragmented. I’m nervous. I’m anxious. I’m worried I won’t be able to be as good as other people. Commercial assignment class? I’m not the best at lighting. I’m pretty good but not as good as other people in that class. But I wanna push myself. I wanna build a solid food photography portfolio. Focus on me, not others. Me. Plus I have no idea what to do for photo sem yet. Shit. But I have Terry Evans again and she’s great. That calms me down. Fuck though. I’m kinda freaking out right now. Nerves settling in. 2 shooting classes, portfolio development (if I keep it), math class and yoga. AH YOGA. My saving grace class. My this is the only way I’ll survive this semester class. BUT I fucked up my lower back working out the other day, pretty badly. I can barely bend over. But the teacher sounds awesome. Been doing yoga and massage therapy for 25+ years. She’ll know what to do to help. And I’ll be made to look closer inside myself and truly love myself and all my accomplishments and my body. I don’t love my body right now. I gotta lose 10 pounds again. Or 15. I don’t feel pretty anymore. Maybe I’ll start going to the gym at school after my morning math class while on break before my next class. Get in a half hour run. That would help my nerves. And my flab. Bleck. I need a haircut. I need to put away my laundry. I need to clean my dishes. I need to go to bed goddamnit. 

Thoughts, go away. Leave me in peace tonight. Tomorrows a big day. This is it, Rebekah. All you’ve known for the past 16 years is coming to a close….. now how the hell am I supposed to sleep? Keep your chin up. Keep your head on straight. This is gonna be an incredible semester. No more procrastinating. No more “I’ll make a portfolio later.” This is the time. Now. You’re gonna become the food photographer you wanna become. You’re gonna push yourself and not look back. You’re talented, you’re creative, you’re innovative and this is your time. 

Jesus christ I sound like a self help book.

Fuckidy fuck. 

@4 months ago with 1 note
#rant #blog #senior status 
And here’s my pre last semester of college ever rant…

My first class tomorrow is a 9am math class. FML. I have 5 classes and a busy schedule. My thoughts are fragmented. I’m nervous. I’m anxious. I’m worried I won’t be able to be as good as other people. Commercial assignment class? I’m not the best at lighting. I’m pretty good but not as good as other people in that class. But I wanna push myself. I wanna build a solid food photography portfolio. Focus on me, not others. Me. Plus I have no idea what to do for photo sem yet. Shit. But I have Terry Evans again and she’s great. That calms me down. Fuck though. I’m kinda freaking out right now. Nerves settling in. 2 shooting classes, portfolio development (if I keep it), math class and yoga. AH YOGA. My saving grace class. My this is the only way I’ll survive this semester class. BUT I fucked up my lower back working out the other day, pretty badly. I can barely bend over. But the teacher sounds awesome. Been doing yoga and massage therapy for 25+ years. She’ll know what to do to help. And I’ll be made to look closer inside myself and truly love myself and all my accomplishments and my body. I don’t love my body right now. I gotta lose 10 pounds again. Or 15. I don’t feel pretty anymore. Maybe I’ll start going to the gym at school after my morning math class while on break before my next class. Get in a half hour run. That would help my nerves. And my flab. Bleck. I need a haircut. I need to put away my laundry. I need to clean my dishes. I need to go to bed goddamnit. 

Thoughts, go away. Leave me in peace tonight. Tomorrows a big day. This is it, Rebekah. All you’ve known for the past 16 years is coming to a close….. now how the hell am I supposed to sleep? Keep your chin up. Keep your head on straight. This is gonna be an incredible semester. No more procrastinating. No more “I’ll make a portfolio later.” This is the time. Now. You’re gonna become the food photographer you wanna become. You’re gonna push yourself and not look back. You’re talented, you’re creative, you’re innovative and this is your time. 

Jesus christ I sound like a self help book.

Fuckidy fuck. 

4 months ago
#rant #blog #senior status